Adoption-an interesting dilemma #general


RMJaspan@...
 

Hello-

Prior to a reunion we held over a year ago, we tried to get as much
information for the family tree to be displayed, so it was no longer our
personal family tree, structured however we wanted, since it was going to be
displayed. We had already decided, however, to include all adopted children
without any notation. However, we subsequently found out that 3 adult
siblings were the natural children of their mother's first marriage, but then
adopted by their mother's second husband (all were to attend the reunion).
The mother, we found out, attempted to keep this a secret, and we did think
that the children were the natural children of her second marriage. But when
one of her children was contacted for other information, that child, actually
an adult around 40, asked who we had listed as being the father of the 3
siblings. Naturally, that person was told the mother's second husband. It
was pointed out that although he adopted the 3 of them, the 2 older ones
still maintain contact with the first husband, their natural father, and
wanted to be listed as his children, although the youngest did not have a
relationship with him, therefore wanted to be listed under the father that
adopted that child. In order not to make waves with the adopted father and
natural mother, we decided to keep the siblings together (for reunion
purposes, at least) as the children of the second husband, and thankfully,
everyone just let it pass for the reunion. However, what now? Now the
research is mainly private, but I am thinking of suggesting we submit it to
the Diaspora Museum in Israel for their genealogy center, which is easy to
access, as I have been there. Plus, if someone asks for a copy of the
outline, we typically agree. Any suggestions? In addition, there are some
"skeletons in the closest". Does anyone keep "two sets of books?" If so,
What purpose would the true set of books really hold if it is kept private?


Randi Jaspan, New Jersey
researching JASPAN, YASPAN, YASHPAN, and other variations >from Kovno Gubernia

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