The genealogy program I use allows me to make notes with an * which don't
print out with everything else. If, for example, someone had an
illegitimate baby or a first husband they don't want people to know about,
that makes it easy to include but not publish. I have a cousin who's wife
died shortly after they came to the US in the 20's-trying to abort a baby
she didn't want to have because the couple was living off family here, and
she didn't want to be a further burden. I was told this in confidence but
wouldn't tell you who, and you won't find out >from anything I publish.

Of course, one thing I would ask first is whether you will actually be
sending that information anywhere. If you make a gedcom file, you usually
leave out the notes entirely. If you make a box chart-same thing, no notes.
If you use your program to 'automatically' write a book, then it might
matter.

Of course, I would prefer to see the proper entry of the baby or husband as
a spouse or descendent-it is part of that person's story-but you must take
care of people's feelings.

Sally Bruckheimer
Buffalo, NY