Re: family finder #general

Peter Zavon <PZavon@...>

It's true people can change their email addresses or are simply very
busy. [It sometimes takes a week or two for me to respond.] But,
with all things being equal, it is rude and it is strange.
Perhaps true, but until they do respond and tell you why they did not do so
immediately, you have no way of knowing if the lack of response is:

a) simply rudeness because they don't like you or something you said;
b) short-term distraction and they'll reply in a week or so - or a
month or three;
c) they are no longer doing genealogy and never got around to removing
their entries >from the Family Finder;
d) they put your message aside to reply, and it got buried by other
things - or lost in a hard drive crash;
e) they, or a near relative, are in the midst of a serious medical crisis
and they are not doing e-mail.

In the meantime I suggest that we all recognize that no one is obliged to
respond to any particular e-mail more quickly than they choose, if at all.
And for a variety of reasons, some will not reply as quickly as the
sender might wish, if at all.

On my wall at work, I have posted the following epigram, which many
passers-by have commented on favorably, and which is applicable here.

"Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance."

Perhaps it would work better here as "Never attribute to rudeness that
which can be explained by distraction"

It all boils down to "Don't think the worst of an action if you don't
*know* why the action was taken."

Value the replies you do receive and recognize that others may have
different priorities. Accept silence as another part of the human

Peter Zavon
Penfield, NY 14526


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