JewishGen Discussion Group #JewishGen Re: Posting courtesy on JewishGen #general

Stan Goodman <SPAM_FOILER@...>

On Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:07:20 UTC, (Sally Goodman)

Ann Rabinowitz wrote:
It is courteous to copy the original poster to ensure that he/she reads your
Stan Goodman wrote:
Are you saying that one who responds to a query is in some sense
obligated to also send the questioner a copy of his reply?....
It is not necessary to patronize him by sending him an additional
personal "engraved" copy of each reply.
Whoa! I was just about to thank Ann for the suggestion when Stan's message
through me for a loop.

Lighten up folks. We are here to help one another not be sarcastic or
criticize. By no means did I read in Ann's message that one who responds to
a query is *obligated* to also send the questioner a copy of the reply. It
seems to me to be a courteous thing to do. Frankly, I never thought to do it
myself, but I have often missed a response and would have appreciated a

If you don't want to send a copy, don't. If you don't want to read a
message, delete it. But, please let's treat each other with respect.
If it were as optional as all that, one doubts that the writer of the
recommendation would have bothered to write it. Once such a thing
becomes accepted as a norm, anyone who doesn't act accordingly is seen
as a boor. So it is indeed compulsory in the end.

This is not a tea party, but a place of hopefully purposeful activity.
An excess of artificial courtesy will contribute to nothing except
clutter, and the same is true of letters duplicating what has already
been posted. What is the purpose of a letter, when the answer to the
query has already appeared where the questioner expects to find it?

By all means, send a copy, so that the recipient has two copies
(including the one that he reads on the forum itself). And when you
receive such duplication, be courteous enough to send a thank you
note; and why not post your thanks on the forum as well, so that
everyone can see that you were grateful. And be certain that the one
to whom you have expressed your gratitude, himself a courtly
man/woman, will write to tell you that you are welcome. One must have
a *lot* of spare time on one's hands to be able to need to fill it with
such make-work.

Remember too the recent discussion of the necessity of sending a
message of gratitude to those who have answered you query -- which
must draw an acknowledgement so that one is not thought ungrateful for
the gratitude. Here again, exaggerated rules of protocol requiring
thanks, and then acknowledgement of the thanks, are clutter.

I do my best to help people here within the limits of the time at my
disposal. My presence here is nearly entirely one sided, as I have
asked questions only twice in all these years since before JewishGen
took over the newsgroup. So I am not trying to avoid sending
superfluous messages myself. If I have succeeded in helping anyone, I
do not expect or want explicit recognition for doing so; my
satisfaction is in the attempt to help, and my disappointment is in
sometimes failing to do so, through error. I have no idea if there are
those who are driven for a need for gratitude; I hope there are none.
I don't know why it even occurs to anyone to send duplicate
expressions of thanks; I think even one is unnecessary, as the whole
function of the forum is to help each other .

I much regret that my explanation of why this is *not* a good idea was
not understood.

Stan Goodman, Qiryat Tiv'on, Israel

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