From: "James Morzillo" <jmorzil1@...>
... snipped ... At some point the women and girls, sitting upstairs,

threw small wrapped packages of sweets, nuts and raisins at the young man
whose Bar Mitzvah it was.

Is this a custom >from certain parts of Eastern Europe? My paternal
grandparents were Litvaks >from what is now western Belarus. ... snipped ...

Am sorry I am coming on late in this.

In my opinion this is a lovely custom, which I see being done a lot
in Israel in both Ashkenazi and Sephardi shuls (= synagogues), as
others have already mentioned. As well as for bar-mitzva and
shabbat chatan (aufrauf), also done when a father is called up
because of a new baby.

I very rarely saw this custom, in the shuls I went to in
England (we belonged to a shul which was part of the orthodox
United Synagogue), and am going back more than 20 years but wouldn't
be surprised if it is now being picked up there, at least
in some of the congregations. (See note below)

With this, it does not seem to be the type of thing that would
have been done in the German communities. Jews >from Germany are
often nick-named as "Yekkers", because of the jackets they wore.
They are known for their order and exactness, and sweet throwing
is the antithesis of this. The decorum in a yekkish shul is much
different to that in a litvasher shul (i.e. shul of litvaks).

Many years ago, I spent some time on a yekkish religious kibbutz here
in Israel, and I remember that rather than throw sweets at a
bar-mitzva someone handed out the sweets in little pre-prepared
doggy bags (no doubt, the exact number and types of sweets was the
same in each bag as is yekkish style) as soon as the bar-mitzva boy
finished the haphtora.

The bags were being handed out so quickly that it almost seemed
as if they were being thrown, but the efficiency of the operation
fitted in very well with the decor of the place.

At least everyone got a bag, no one got hurt, and there were no
children crying at the end because they were not quick enough in
the scramble.

[Note concerning shuls in England: Jewish law problems that have to
be considered when introducing sweet throwing include:
a) ensuring the kashrut of the sweets, especially if brought by
families who are not aware of the intricacies;
b) that they are not carried in the street on Shabbat as there
was (is?) no eiruv in London/UK.
(eruv = a device which can be applied to to most of our
neighbourhood streets that allows carrying on Shabbat.) ] .

Anyway, may we have more and more s'machot, and may our children grow
to mitzvot, chupa and ma'asim tovim (good deeds).

--
David Ziants
Ma'aleh Adumim, Israel


MODERATOR NOTE: Please confine further comments to genealogical
ramifications of this custom. Discussion of Jewish Law per se is offtopic
in the Discussion Group.

James,

I don't know the origin of the custom but at my conservative synagoge we do
this for Bar and Bat Mitzva's and for Auf Ruf's (the shabbat preceding a
wedding). Generally we throw soft gel candies (kosher of course), but
occassionally the family involved provides chocolate kisses or something
else. The children in the congregation know this will happen and it's a
wonderful bribe to get them to shul. We throw the candy after the
blessings for the Haftorah, while singing "Siman Tov u'Mazel Tov." There
is then a mad dash by the children (all under the age of bar/bat mitzvah)
up to the bima to collect it all - and they do a marvelous job cleaning it
all up! Much of the candy ends up in Dad's (or Mom's) tallis bag and is
taken home and quietly thrown away. Some of it, I confess, is eaten by
some of the little old ladies rather than thrown.

The non-Jewish guests at these events are a little stunned, but then the
entire Shabbat service is a very different experience for them. They are
used to sitting still for an hour and then being done. At our eagalitarian
shul, if you come for the whole thing, you're there for at least three
hours, and that's not counting the kiddush after. We wouldn't dream of
sitting still for the whole time! Even those who don't get up to use the
bathroom or take a break in the lobby are conducting a quiet critique of
the translation in such and such a Torah, or an aggravating section in the
prayer book and so on. And the choreography of people going up and down
for aliyot and to read Torah and get blessed also means that there is a
lot of coming and going. I love the activity of the service, and the
candy-throwing is a wonderful way to bring in the next generation, with a
lot of affection. Some people find it disruptive and it is, for a brief
while, but we have no trouble getting back on track, mostly because
everyone then wants to hear the d'var of the bar/bat mitzvah.

I invite you all, when you visit Madison, Wisconsin, to stop by Beth Israel
Center for Shabbat or any other time. You will find yourself warmly
welcomed, with or without candy.

Louise Goldstein
Madison, Wisconsin

We have discussed customs that can perhaps be useful to genealogists.
I remember as a child attending the Bar Mitzvahs of two of my older
cousins at an Orthodox synagogue (Bronx Jewish Center somewhere near E.
180th Street??). At some point the women and girls, sitting upstairs,
threw small wrapped packages of sweets, nuts and raisins at the young
man whose Bar Mitzvah it was.

Is this a custom >from certain parts of Eastern Europe? My paternal
grandparents were Litvaks >from what is now western Belarus. Has anyone
heard of this? Is it still done today?

from maurice hoffman London

Throwing nuts, raisons and sweets certainly took place in East London
synagogues into the 1960s. my grandmother did this at my barmitzvah in
1961. she came >from East Galicia.

Yes, this is still the custom at innumerable United States synagogues.
I've witnessed or taken part in this happy ritual in New Jersey,
Maryland, Florida, and California synagogues of the Conservative or
Reconstructionist persuasions.

Henny Roth

Henriette Moed Roth
Los Angeles, CA
hennynow@...

In our Conservative congregation in Ottawa (mixed seating!) it is customary
to throw candies at the Bar or Bat Mitzvah as soon as the last note of the
blessing after the Haftorah is sung. This seems to have nothing to do with
where one came >from - Litvak, Galician, whatever.

Linda Morzillo of Saratoga Springs, wrote:

At some point the women and girls, sitting upstairs, threw small >wrapped
packages of sweets, nuts and raisins at the young man
whose Bar Mitzvah it was.

Is this a custom >from certain parts of Eastern Europe? My paternal
grandparents were Litvaks >from what is now western Belarus. Has anyone
heard of this? Is it still done today?

The origins of this tradition go back very far and I'm sure someone with
greater knowledge can give a better answer.

As far the custom today in Baltimore, MD, where I live, there are more
than 20 orthodox shuls including Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Lubovitch, Satmar,
German, Iranian, Russian, etc., and they all throw candy, nuts, etc. at
bar mitzvahs and uff ruufs (forgive the spelling)*. It has become such an
American tradition that you can buy prepackaged candy, nuts, and popcorn
in celophane wrappers with "Mazol Tov" printed on the wrapper.
The great thing about throwing the candy is that the younger children grab
the packages as they land around the beama so there is no mess left after
the bar mitzvah or chossen is "honored" with this shower.

Some traditions may originate elsewhere, but when it becomes popular,
everyone adopts it.

I await other more difinitive answers.

*(One shul does not permit it since the popcorn opened >from the package
when thrown >from the balcony and the "officers" did not like the messy
shower and required clean up so they put a stop to the pratice.)

Moshe Dreyfuss
Baltimore, MD
mjdreyfuss@...

searching for Dreyfuss, Brenner, Greenbaum, Aaron, Schulman

We have discussed customs that can perhaps be useful to genealogists.
I remember as a child attending the Bar Mitzvahs of two of my older
cousins at an Orthodox synagogue (Bronx Jewish Center somewhere near E.
180th Street??). At some point the women and girls, sitting upstairs,
threw small wrapped packages of sweets, nuts and raisins at the young man
whose Bar Mitzvah it was.

Is this a custom >from certain parts of Eastern Europe? My paternal
grandparents were Litvaks >from what is now western Belarus. Has anyone
heard of this? Is it still done today?

Linda Morzillo
Saratoga Springs, NY
jmorzil1@...

Researching:

PRESS and SCHNEIDER in Vidukle and Kaunas
AMCHIVSLAVSKY and ERLICHMAN in Rostov-on-Don
COHEN/KAGAN and BORNSTEIN/BOURNELEIN in Oshmyany and Vilna
KOSOFSKY in Stuchin/Szczuczyn/Shchuchyn/Scucyn
SWOTINSKY in Poland/Belarus