family finder #general


Phyllis Blumenfeld <pblumenfeld@...>
 

In the past few weeks, I have sent messages to people who have listed their
names and who and where they are searching gathered >from the Family Finder.
I cannot understand why anyone would take the trouble to list family trees
and other information to connect with possible relatives or at least others
who are searching the same names and shtetls and then not answer them. This
is not only frustrating, I find it downright rude. Even if you know there
is no connection, an answer with a "no thank you" is welcome so that you
know there is someone on the other end of the email.
How many others have experienced this phenomenon?

pblumenfeld@...
Phyllis Blumenfeld
POPS/FICHTELBERG..Dobromil/Lvov
FISHKOWITZ...Dobromil
BERMAN...Nowy Sacz/Gribow
TRAURIG...Wisnicz/Israel
BERNSTEIN...Lomza/Przasnysz
SCHNALL...Tuckahoe, N.Y.
BLUMENFELD/SUSSMAN...Podul Ilieu,Romania
BLUMENFELD...Iasi/Pascani, Romania


Jackie King <anglegerl@...>
 

I agree, that it is rude to never get a responce, or
to not get one till abouut 6 months later. But, what
you've also got to understand, is that someone may not
have the time to respond to you right away. It may
take them a few days, or even a week or so. It all
depends on how often they check their email, and how
busy they are at the time you send something to them.
Hope maybe that helps u be less frustrated, or that it
atleast maybe shows u the point of view of possibly
one of the people u sent the messages to.

-Jackie
Searching: Chinitz, Brodosky (any spelling, Brosky
too), Trachtenberg, Hahn, Bellin, Shulman, King....


--- Phyllis Blumenfeld <pblumenfeld@...> wrote:

In the past few weeks, I have sent messages to
people who have listed their
names and who and where they are searching gathered
from the Family Finder.
I cannot understand why anyone would take the
trouble to list family trees
and other information to connect with possible
relatives or at least others
who are searching the same names and shtetls and
then not answer them. This
is not only frustrating, I find it downright rude.
Even if you know there
is no connection, an answer with a "no thank you" is
welcome so that you
know there is someone on the other end of the email.
How many others have experienced this phenomenon?

pblumenfeld@...
Phyllis Blumenfeld
POPS/FICHTELBERG..Dobromil/Lvov
FISHKOWITZ...Dobromil
BERMAN...Nowy Sacz/Gribow
TRAURIG...Wisnicz/Israel
BERNSTEIN...Lomza/Przasnysz
SCHNALL...Tuckahoe, N.Y.
BLUMENFELD/SUSSMAN...Podul Ilieu,Romania
BLUMENFELD...Iasi/Pascani, Romania


Howard Zakai
 

Phyllis,

I share your sentiments exactly. About a month ago I sent an email to over a
dozen Genners who not only listed the same surname I am researching, but the
same town or vicinity as mine as well. I got no more than 4 responses

It's true people can change their email addresses or are simply very busy.
[It sometimes takes a week or two for me to respond.] But, with all things
being equal, it is rude and it is strange. I write a lot of emails and
letters to people who are not part of the JewishGen community asking about
family. I usually do not expect >from them a multitude of responses. With
Genners, with the common bond we share, I would think a response would be a
natural given.

Howie Zakai
Staten Island, NY


Paul Goodman <P.Goodman@...>
 

I have also found this happening to me and agree totally with what you say.
I find it baffling not to answer as when I've been contacted it always been
to my benefit.

Paul Goodman
Folkestone, England

Researching: GOODMAN / GUTMAN ( Liverpool, London UK; Baden Germany)
ZEFFERTT ( Liverpool, London UK, Kutno Poland) JOSEPH (London UK)

----- Original Message -----
From: Phyllis Blumenfeld <pblumenfeld@...>
To: JewishGen Discussion Group <jewishgen@...>
Sent: Friday, September 13, 2002 6:14 PM
Subject: family finder
n the past few weeks, I have sent messages to people who have listed
their
names and who and where they are searching gathered >from the Family
Finder.
I cannot understand why anyone would take the trouble to list family trees
and other information to connect with possible relatives or at least
others
who are searching the same names and shtetls and then not answer them.
This
is not only frustrating, I find it downright rude. Even if you know there
is no connection, an answer with a "no thank you" is welcome so that you
know there is someone on the other end of the email.
How many others have experienced this phenomenon?

pblumenfeld@...
Phyllis Blumenfeld
POPS/FICHTELBERG..Dobromil/Lvov
FISHKOWITZ...Dobromil
BERMAN...Nowy Sacz/Gribow
TRAURIG...Wisnicz/Israel
BERNSTEIN...Lomza/Przasnysz
SCHNALL...Tuckahoe, N.Y.
BLUMENFELD/SUSSMAN...Podul Ilieu,Romania
BLUMENFELD...Iasi/Pascani, Romania


Joan Parker <housemom@...>
 

Well, yes and no. It doesn't take that long to write a quicky note to say
I'll get back to you, and at least acknowledge that particular email.
I've done that when I get a message and don't have access to the info
right away. I let them know I'll get back. Then I flag that message.
Common courtesy doesn't take that long.

But Jackie does have valid points.
Joan Parker
Miami, FL
Searching: GOLDBERG and GOODSTEIN-Plock, Poland/Russia and Brooklyn, NY;
PINKUS and WINOGRAD-Odessa, Ukraine and Brooklyn, NY; GELFAND-Minsk and
Bronx, NY; YEHUDIS; KATZ, Bronx, NY

I agree, that it is rude to never get a responce, or
to not get one till abouut 6 months later. But, what
you've also got to understand, is that someone may not
have the time to respond to you right away. It may
take them a few days, or even a week or so. It all
depends on how often they check their email, and how
busy they are at the time you send something to them.
Hope maybe that helps u be less frustrated, or that it
atleast maybe shows u the point of view of possibly
one of the people u sent the messages to.

-Jackie


IsraelP <zach4v6@...>
 

People lose interest. People forget. Your message may have been lost on
the way , misplaced or deleted by mistake or because of fear of viruses.
Or maybe their response requires further inquiry. (Jacob sent Joseph on
an errand and it took him twenty-two years to respond. He didn't believe
in interim reports.)

The response may have been sent but never reached you. Most of us have
experienced this phenomenon. Wait a few weeks and resend - without a
reprimand.

And in the meantime, it's Yom Kippur tomorrow - give them the benefit of
the doubt.

Israel Pickholtz

n the past few weeks, I have sent messages to people who have listed
their names and who and where they are searching gathered >from the Family
Finder. I cannot understand why anyone would take the trouble to list
family trees and other information to connect with possible relatives or
at least others who are searching the same names and shtetls and then not
answer them.
MODERATOR NOTE: Well, Yom Kippur is no longer tomorrow; it has passed
by now. JewishGen puts the mailing lists on hold for Yom Kippur, and
that is why this and other messages have been delayed.


Peter Zavon <PZavon@...>
 

It's true people can change their email addresses or are simply very
busy. [It sometimes takes a week or two for me to respond.] But,
with all things being equal, it is rude and it is strange.
Perhaps true, but until they do respond and tell you why they did not do so
immediately, you have no way of knowing if the lack of response is:

a) simply rudeness because they don't like you or something you said;
b) short-term distraction and they'll reply in a week or so - or a
month or three;
c) they are no longer doing genealogy and never got around to removing
their entries >from the Family Finder;
d) they put your message aside to reply, and it got buried by other
things - or lost in a hard drive crash;
e) they, or a near relative, are in the midst of a serious medical crisis
and they are not doing e-mail.

In the meantime I suggest that we all recognize that no one is obliged to
respond to any particular e-mail more quickly than they choose, if at all.
And for a variety of reasons, some will not reply as quickly as the
sender might wish, if at all.

On my wall at work, I have posted the following epigram, which many
passers-by have commented on favorably, and which is applicable here.

"Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance."

Perhaps it would work better here as "Never attribute to rudeness that
which can be explained by distraction"

It all boils down to "Don't think the worst of an action if you don't
*know* why the action was taken."

Value the replies you do receive and recognize that others may have
different priorities. Accept silence as another part of the human
condition.

--
Peter Zavon
Penfield, NY 14526

PZavon@...


Stephen Mednick <lists.genealogy@...>
 

To assist people with their emails, whether they are for this list or for
other correspondence, people might like to click on the following link
http://www.infinisource.com/lifestyles/effective-email.html for some simple
Dos and Donts with email. Most of them are common sense but while this
thread is going it might be an opportune time to remind everyone.

Stephen Mednick
Sydney, Australia
steve@...

Researching:
MEDNICK (Kalius,UKR & London,ENG)
SACHS/SACKS (Kalius,UKR & London,ENG)