Rude Relply from relative #general

Flo Elman

In surfing the Net, I came across my cousin's son's email address. I wrote
to him & received this reply . The following is the interchange ....
I wrote:
Would you by any chance be the son of [name omitted] If so, I am a first
cousin to [your mother], & would like to get in touch with you. (I'm
publishing our Family History & would like to discuss it with you.)

His totally baffling response was:


I don't know you. I am not willing to provide further information. Please
remove my name >from any email lists or any other form of communication.

Please respect my privacy.

Thank you."

That was it. I followed up with a short note that said:
"I was stunned by your curt reply. When you celebrated your barmitzvah, my
husband, Harold & I were there, & even dropped by your house to bring your
gift. If you "don't know who I am", you can ask your mother when you speak
to her. (She & I are on the phone together frequently.) If your mother is my
1st cousin, that makes us 1st cousins once removed. Not a distant
relationship at all!! You can check it out below. It represents 29 years of
work! I hope you recognize this family.


He actually answered with just one line; no names or signature: "Remove all
references to me >from your lists."

The information I have about him came >from what was already (his work &
email are online in more than 4 pages of Google!!), the only other info are
his vital statistics & wife's name. I believe all of this is in the public
domain & the genealogist is permitted to use it.

What would you do in this situation? I'm publishing *just for immediate
family* very shortly & don't like omitting relationships on my trees.

Thanks a lot,
Florence Elman

Sam Schleman <Samara99@...>

I've run into this a couple of times, more or less. You are not going to get
anything more >from him. Instead, I suggest you go around him.

What information do you need? Get it >from his mother, your first cousin. Or
call a sister or brother of his, don't tell them of your run-in, and get the
info >from them.

If you hit a brick wall in the form of an uncooperative relative, go around,
under or over the wall. :-)


Yisrael Asper

He's the son of your first cousin. Include him if you wish. Normally it would
look strange to others not to include him.
Yisrael Asper
Pittsburgh PA