Rude Relply from relative #general

Yisrael Asper

He's the son of your first cousin. Include him if you wish. Normally it would
look strange to others not to include him.
Yisrael Asper
Pittsburgh PA

Sam Schleman <Samara99@...>

I've run into this a couple of times, more or less. You are not going to get
anything more >from him. Instead, I suggest you go around him.

What information do you need? Get it >from his mother, your first cousin. Or
call a sister or brother of his, don't tell them of your run-in, and get the
info >from them.

If you hit a brick wall in the form of an uncooperative relative, go around,
under or over the wall. :-)


Flo Elman

In surfing the Net, I came across my cousin's son's email address. I wrote
to him & received this reply . The following is the interchange ....
I wrote:
Would you by any chance be the son of [name omitted] If so, I am a first
cousin to [your mother], & would like to get in touch with you. (I'm
publishing our Family History & would like to discuss it with you.)

His totally baffling response was:


I don't know you. I am not willing to provide further information. Please
remove my name >from any email lists or any other form of communication.

Please respect my privacy.

Thank you."

That was it. I followed up with a short note that said:
"I was stunned by your curt reply. When you celebrated your barmitzvah, my
husband, Harold & I were there, & even dropped by your house to bring your
gift. If you "don't know who I am", you can ask your mother when you speak
to her. (She & I are on the phone together frequently.) If your mother is my
1st cousin, that makes us 1st cousins once removed. Not a distant
relationship at all!! You can check it out below. It represents 29 years of
work! I hope you recognize this family.


He actually answered with just one line; no names or signature: "Remove all
references to me >from your lists."

The information I have about him came >from what was already (his work &
email are online in more than 4 pages of Google!!), the only other info are
his vital statistics & wife's name. I believe all of this is in the public
domain & the genealogist is permitted to use it.

What would you do in this situation? I'm publishing *just for immediate
family* very shortly & don't like omitting relationships on my trees.

Thanks a lot,
Florence Elman