reaching out to family #ukraine


Paul Wolf <pwolf1@...>
 

Send a note, but include whatever information you already have on the
family tree. Many first contact go sour because of suspicion about the
motives or authenticity of the contact. Providing information with the
first contact can help allay some of that natural skepticism. Include a
note that you will call in a couple of weeks to follow up, and include your
address and phone so they can contact you if they are really excited about
the contact. Getting the first good contact in a long separated branch of
the family often serves as a gateway to those not so enthusiastic.

[Paul Wolf]

MODERATOR'S NOTE: Please sign your names to your letters. Many thanks for your anticipated cooperation.

At 09:42 PM 11/23/2000 -0500, you wrote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit the Ukraine SIG web site
<http://www.jewishgen.org/ukraine/>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need advice about the personal side of genealogy.

I have lists of names, and even addresses, of distant
relatives in America whom I would like to contact. My
grandparents knew their grandparents, my parents
corresponded with their parents, but time has passed
and I don't know them or their adult children.


I would like to make contact, ask about extant documents,
old memories, or traditions. But I don't want to be seen
as invading their privacy.

Will a discreet note, mentioning my purposes and also the
above issues, do the trick? If I get no response, should
I cross the name of my list?

I think I need advice >from folks who have been in this
situation.

Mark Saul
New York, NY

Researching: KAMENIR, RUBENSTEIN: Novograd Volinsky, Zhitomir, Berdichev
LISENCO, KOTANOV: Brailov, Rachni, Mogilev Podolsk
TELISHEVSKY: Gomel', Ekaterinoslav
SOLOMOVITCH/SOLOMOWITZ: Gomel'
---


TerryOstrach <terryostrach@...>
 

You're so fortunate to have this information. Most of it is lost to other
families who have no idea where to begin looking for relatives.

If it's possible, you might try phoning first. I did both letters and phone
calls, and the phone calls worked best, especially when you consider that
these people are probably advanced in years. If the people you intend to
contact are in their 70s or 80s, they may rather talking than doing the
boring task of writing. In my experience, the older the person I contacted
by phone, the more information they gave me. I'd have nothing about my
husband's family at all if I hadn't made a phone call to his 82 year old
aunt who was so thrilled to receive the call, she invited me to call back
regularly. Same with a 90 year old. In fact, both of them gave me
anecdotes that were wonderful for the family history.

One thing you may not have considered. Start first with your own brothers
and sisters and ask them what they remember your own parents telling telling
them. I found that my brother, being 7 years older than I, had an entirely
different set of memories about the stories our father told him.

Good luck,


Terry {Ostrach}

I have lists of names, and even addresses, of distant
relatives in America whom I would like to contact. My
grandparents knew their grandparents, my parents
corresponded with their parents, but time has passed
and I don't know them or their adult children.
I would like to make contact, ask about extant documents,
old memories, or traditions. But I don't want to be seen
as invading their privacy.


Dave Lewak <dlewak@...>
 

Hi Mark,
I recently went through such an experience,
contacting a distant cousin who did not know
my side of the family. I made contact by calling
on the phone, introducing myself and saying that
I was doing genealogy research, then explaining
how I was related to this cousin.

Good luck -- Dave Lewak, Berkeley CA, USA

Mark Saul wrote:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit the Ukraine SIG web site
<http://www.jewishgen.org/ukraine/>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need advice about the personal side of genealogy.

I have lists of names, and even addresses, of distant
relatives in America whom I would like to contact. My
grandparents knew their grandparents, my parents
corresponded with their parents, but time has passed
and I don't know them or their adult children.

I would like to make contact, ask about extant documents,
old memories, or traditions. But I don't want to be seen
as invading their privacy.

Will a discreet note, mentioning my purposes and also the
above issues, do the trick? If I get no response, should
I cross the name of my list?

I think I need advice >from folks who have been in this

situation.

Mark Saul
New York, NY

Researching: KAMENIR, RUBENSTEIN: Novograd Volinsky, Zhitomir, Berdichev

LISENCO, KOTANOV: Brailov, Rachni, Mogilev Podolsk
TELISHEVSKY: Gomel', Ekaterinoslav
SOLOMOVITCH/SOLOMOWITZ: Gomel'


Mark Saul <MSaul@...>
 

I need advice about the personal side of genealogy.

I have lists of names, and even addresses, of distant
relatives in America whom I would like to contact. My
grandparents knew their grandparents, my parents
corresponded with their parents, but time has passed
and I don't know them or their adult children.


I would like to make contact, ask about extant documents,
old memories, or traditions. But I don't want to be seen
as invading their privacy.


Will a discreet note, mentioning my purposes and also the
above issues, do the trick? If I get no response, should
I cross the name of my list?


I think I need advice >from folks who have been in this

situation.


Mark Saul
New York, NY


Researching: KAMENIR, RUBENSTEIN: Novograd Volinsky, Zhitomir, Berdichev

LISENCO, KOTANOV: Brailov, Rachni, Mogilev Podolsk
TELISHEVSKY: Gomel', Ekaterinoslav
SOLOMOVITCH/SOLOMOWITZ: Gomel'


SiCanto@...
 

In a message dated 11/24/00 11:11:21 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
MSaul@compuserve.com writes:

<< Will a discreet note, mentioning my purposes and also the
above issues, do the trick? If I get no response, should
I cross the name of my list? >>
I'd suggest making your letter short and to the point. Include a
self-addressed, stamped envelope. Send a copy of a photo that you think they
might be interested in, or share a story(a flattering one) that your parents
told you about the "new" relative's grandparents. . . . . .

If you get no response, don't cross the name off your list. We can never
know what is going on in the life of the person we're writing to. If you
don't hear after a few months, try a phone call. That's what I did. I wrote
to a cousin that I hadn't seen for many, many years. He didn't answer. Over
the period of about a year, I wrote him several more times explaining some
personal things I thought he might be angry about. He still didn't answer.
I finally called. And he was very nice. I was so surprised. He also said
he works 6, sometimes 7 days a week. He also said he's not good at getting
back to people. But he took notes on the family history I gave him over the
phone. So I know he's interested.
Cheryl Kantor


EHecht4085@...
 

Dear Mark,

Based upon my own experience in a similar situation, I tried to contact as
many as I could and sent them a family goup sheet showing relationships. One
evne sent me a nasty letter, not remembering who I was but when I sent her my
own family group sheet, she recognized my father and became a little closer
and now looks forward to my Newsletter. I also sent her a copy of her husband
grave stone when I visited the cemeteery where some of the family are buried.
Keep trying. I have one cousin who hates his relatives and will not reply,
because he married an Italian girl and some of the older relations id not
approve. So goes it.

Keep trying, and sometimes they get on board, but none of them seem to have
any information, and some of them do.

Eli C. Hecht


Doug Cohen <DMCohen@...>
 

Everybody loves to look at family trees. I've been most successful at
contacting unknown and distant relatives when I've mailed them a family
tree, circling their names and my own.

It's giving them something in advance, so they feel they aren't taking all
the risk.

Be sure to include a SASE, or encourage them to call collect (if you have a
personal 800 number that's good, also)!

Good luck!

Doug Cohen
Lexington, MA

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DMC@dmcohen.com

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----- Original Message -----
From: "Mark Saul" <MSaul@compuserve.com>
Subject: [ukraine] reaching out to family

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit the Ukraine SIG web site
<http://www.jewishgen.org/ukraine/>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need advice about the personal side of genealogy.

I have lists of names, and even addresses, of distant
relatives in America whom I would like to contact. My
grandparents knew their grandparents, my parents
corresponded with their parents, but time has passed
and I don't know them or their adult children.

I would like to make contact, ask about extant documents,
old memories, or traditions. But I don't want to be seen
as invading their privacy.......

Mark Saul
New York, NY

Researching: KAMENIR, RUBENSTEIN: Novograd Volinsky, Zhitomir, Berdichev

LISENCO, KOTANOV: Brailov, Rachni, Mogilev Podolsk
TELISHEVSKY: Gomel', Ekaterinoslav
SOLOMOVITCH/SOLOMOWITZ: Gomel'