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"Mother" (But Not "Husband") On a Married Woman's Grave #general


Lee Hover
 

Something similar.  My GF committed suicide in Central Park, 6 weeks after wife & son arrived from Poland.  Tombstone say "beloved brother", no mention of the aforesaid.  I'm sure his sibs buried him, since the wife spoke no English and was a greenhorn.  But it still seems strange.


janicesetren@...
 

I came across a similar situation during the same decade.  Husband was a widower raising a young child.  He remarried 6 months following the death of his first wife.  By the time the headstone was ordered and placed for the unveiling,
he was married to his second wife.  I found it sad that the deceased was not recognized as a beloved wife, but it may have been considered disrespectful to his new living wife.


r.d.oppenheimer@...
 

The one placing the head stone generally decides upon the inscription. Usually it is the surviving spouse, sibling, or child. If the couple was divorced, then the one writing the inscription may not want to state "Loving Wife". 


laurie.budgar@...
 

I have a similar quandary. I have a husband & wife who were second cousins, and are buried side-by-side. Her stone says "beloved sister" and his stone doesn't have any familial notes -- just his name and date of death, along with the usual Hebrew inscriptions. In this case, he died before she did, so I always assumed whoever buried her was a sibling. I also wondered, though, if maybe the family disapproved of their union (or the fact that he was something of a ne'er-do-well) and that's also why it didn't say "beloved wife." Would the cemetery still have records on who paid for their burials? Does the fact that they're both buried in the Hebrew Free Burial Cemetery change things? (I always thought that was for the indigent -- so if there was a sibling to pay for the burial why was she put there? Simply because her husband was?) 

 


Meron Lavie
 

Hi Rhonda,

I can't believe I actually wrote "beloved husband". Of course I meant "beloved wife".

The husband in question was very much alive. He subsequently married another woman and then deserted her when she fell ill. His brother had a similar track record. They were my paternal grandfather's first cousins, and he hid their very existence from my father and aunt - apparently with very good reason...

Meron LAVIE


rhonda.post@...
 

Meron Lavie wrote: "I recently found a photo of a relative's grave, a married woman with a young child, who died in 1910.The headstone has "BELOVED MOTHER" inscribed above the woman's name, and concludes at the bottom with "MOTHER". The woman was married and the husband was still alive and healthy when she died.Is there any significance to the fact she is not described as "BELOVED HUSBAND" and "HUSBAND", as well? Am I reading too much into this?   I already have some other strong circumstantial evidence that this guy was not "Husband of the Year" material.==================>

Hello Meron:

I have two comments on your post.

1. If the woman's grave has Beloved Mother, it means the deceased is a female. Therefore, it would never say Husband. It would say Wife.

2. Have you looked at when the husband died? I found my great-grandmother's grave and it also said only Mother. When she passed away, she was a grandmother as well as a great-grandmother. Her husband had died decades before. Her sons paid for the grave stone. It is my guess they thought of her as their mother and therefore that is what was put on her marker. I am unsure if the cost would have been extra to add the additional titles and therefore Mother was sufficient.

I hope this helps.    Rhonda Post    Rhonda.Post@...


Jx. Gx.
 

Meron,

From your description, I get the same sense you have about him not being "Husband of the Year."  If I were in your shoes I would visit the cemetery office and ask to see its file about this burial. I'd want to know who paid for their burial, what were the circumstances of her death and any other papers or letters  they have. Her death certificate might shed additional clues on the husband and wife relationship.

Jeffrey Gee
Arizona


Meron Lavie
 

Hi, 

I recently found a photo of a relative's grave, a married woman with a young child, who died in 1910.

The headstone has "BELOVED MOTHER" inscribed above the woman's name, and concludes at the bottom with "MOTHER". The woman was married and the husband was still alive and healthy when she died.

Is there any significance to the fact she is not described as "BELOVED HUSBAND" and "HUSBAND", as well? Am I reading too much into this?

I already have some other strong circumstantial evidence that this guy was not "Husband of the Year" material... 

 

TIA,

Meron LAVIE