Kopyl (Kapule)/ Arranged marriages #general

Fred Selss

Almost all the Orthodox Jewish marriages were arranged. Most times by a matchmaker. This is still being done in some Jewish communities. Most times the couple meet once or twice before they are married. Both the man and the woman have to agree to the marriage. It is not forced upon them but the initial “ introduction” was made by a matchmaker. The matchmaker might have been a friend, relative or a professional matchmaker. So it is very possible for the couple to be separated by geography and still wind up married.The Broadway show and movie Fiddler on the Roof shows a theatrical performance of this practice in a village in Russia. Hopefully, the couple will learn to love each other. My Great Grandparents were living about 30 miles apart in Hungary. They married and had 10 children. They came to NY with their children and told them the story of how they met via a matchmaker!

Fredrica SeLss


My grandfather, who was 18 in 1880, didn't want to marry the girl chosen for him, so he got on a. ship  and came to New York City.  He married my grandmother in NYC in 1889.


Orthodox marriages are often still arranged.  My former rabbi and his wife at Chabad in CT met that way and married.  They have at least five children now, all girls, and are very much in love with each other after close to 20 years of marriage.
Barbara Sloan
Conway, SC