Status of abandoned or divorced wife #usa


Sam Lorber
 

I believe I have found my 74 year old 2xg grandfather and his 68 year old second wife living separately with different married daughters in NYC in the 1900 federal census.  His status is married, while hers is widowed.  I have read several articles on desertion and divorce within the immigrant population but nothing mentions the abandoned or divorced wife claiming to be a widow.  Anyone know was the cultural rules or Halacha would have to say concerning  this?


--
Sam Lorber
researching LORBER/GOODMAN/RUDMAN/HAUFT


Sally Bruckheimer <sallybruc@...>
 

Widowed was common, lots of women were widowed, and it was nobody's 'fault'.

Although divorce was not very uncommon in Eastern Europe, it was somebody's 'fault', and because Jewish law says only men could seek one, it was the woman's 'fault'. So men could be as rotten as they wanted, the woman could not divorce him, without his active participation.

So she became a widow. I had a cousin who was a widow in NYC, but the story is that her husband went back to Russia. You could tell a census taker whatever you wanted.

Sally Bruckheimer
Princeton, NJ

"Anyone know was the cultural rules or Halacha would have to say concerning  this?"


EdrieAnne Broughton
 

It was very common for a woman, divorced or separated to define herself as widowed whether she was Jewish or not.  There was a social stigma to being without her husband if he was still living.  It was not so for the husband. 
 
EdrieAnne Broughton
Vacaville, California


David Lewin
 

At 13:05 19/11/2021, Sam Lorber wrote:
I believe I have found my 74 year old 2xg
grandfather and his 68 year old second wife
living separately with different married
daughters in NYC in the 1900 federal
census. His status is married, while hers is
widowed. I have read several articles on
desertion and divorce within the immigrant
population but nothing mentions the abandoned or
divorced wife claiming to be a widow. Anyone
know was the cultural rules or Halacha would have to say concerning this?


--
Sam Lorber
researching LORBER/GOODMAN/RUDMAN/HAUFT

Could you be referring to a woman who - in Jewish
orthodox tradition - is NOT told by her husband
three times "I divorce you" even though she has
obtained a divorce decree from a Civil
Court? Such women are known in Hebrew as
Agunot ( singular Aguna ) and if observant,
remain "tied" to their ex-husbands. In
traditional Jewish Law they cannot remarry.

See Agunah - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Agunah

David Lewin
London


Eleanor Lind
 

The three times I divorce you is the Muslim not Jewish method of divorce. In Jewish law the husband has to write, by a scribe, a ‘get’ a bill of divorce and give it to the wife who accepts it. There are many rules but it has to be given and accepted freely.
Eleanor Lind
London UK

 


Michele Lock
 

Since divorce was so rare in the early 1900s, it is possible that the census taker only asked the woman if she was single, married or widowed, so she chose from amongst those three. 
--
Michele Lock

Lak/Lok/Liak/Lock and Kalon/Kolon in Zagare/Joniskis/Gruzdziai, Lithuania
Lak/Lok/Liak/Lock in Plunge/Telsiai in Lithuania
Rabinowitz in Papile, Lithuania and Riga, Latvia
Trisinsky/Trushinsky/Sturisky and Leybman in Dotnuva, Lithuania
Olitsky in Alytus, Suwalki, Poland/Lithuania
Gutman/Goodman in Czestochowa, Poland
Lavine/Lev/Lew in Trenton, New Jersey and Lida/Vilna gub., Belarus


Peter Cohen
 

It is also possible that the census information was provided by a neighbor or someone else who did not know her exact status.  And it is not impossible that a lazy census worker might have invented her status out of thin air, if they had neglected to fill it in at the time they were on site.
--
Peter Cohen
California


Eric M. Bloch
 

My great-grandfather arrived in the U.S. with his family in 1905 from Lithuania, but after three or four years was unhappy here.  He couldn't convince the family to return with him, so he abandoned the family and went back to Lithuania in 1908 or 1909.  The 1910 Census still listed him with the family, but the 1920 Census listed his wife as a widow living with a son and his family.  He was brought back to the U.S. in late 1920 by a different son, but he and his wife had a rocky relationship and remained separated,  The 1930 Census listed his wife as "sep" (separated), but it was crossed out and "m1" (married) was indicated, even though he was living elsewhere.  That year, she was enumerated living with a different son and his family. They finally divorced in 1932.

Eric M. Bloch
Milwaukee, WI


Elynn Boss
 

I don't believe that divorce was as rare as people like to think.  One of hubby's gr-grandfather's was married 9 times and divorced 7 (the other two died) - and his divorce records were hilarious - he was mistreated by all his spouses that he divorced - supposedly.  There were definitely more divorces by other of the gr-grands.  In many of the cases, they were listed as 'widowed' in the census.  Until I realized that, I was marking the other spouse deceased.  Not only were they not deceased, but they married again, divorced again and married again.
--
Elynn Boss
Frisco, Texas, United States
bossgen_1@...
Searching: Abrahams (New York); Gichtin/Gechtin/Gertin (Buffalo, New York and Canada); Dreishpoon (New York, Russia, France), Danovitch/Daynes (New York, Massachusetts, Poland/Russia) and associated branches.


Eva Lawrence
 

  A woman with a child but no husband  would be very likely to style herself a widow, to avoid awkward questions and to keep up appearances.. Census entries were based on the information given by the head of the household, and  checks on their consistency with other records were not made - think of the cost and time that would be involved.  I've read personal accounts by men who visited household in area. the actual census takers.- available on the 'Lost Cousins' website -  and even if the woman went into details about her failed marriage there would be no tick-box for 'abandoned by husband.' or 'not sure of my status'. When taking stock of any record, one must allow for the human factor and the limits of what the design of the record could indicate.. . 
 
--
Eva Lawrence
St Albans, UK.


Diane Katz. SURNAMES/TOWNS: Laske/Ladyzhin;,Steinberg Kiev; Grunberg Rheinhorn/Iasi; Milston/Slutzk; Bicz/Mogilev; Glas/Varniai; Moskowitz/Nagy-Saros Klein/Eperjes; Hefliech/Hungary; Marks/Machester/Suwalki; Shedrofski/Suwalki
 

One of my gggrandfathers was a petty criminal and philanderer.  He abandoned his wife and two babies.  She too indicated on the UK census records that she was a widow.  However after 2 trips to the US she located her ex and got her get.  Jewish women need a Jewish divorce to remarry in a religious ceremony.  

I was surprised to see so many divorces listed in JewishGen records.  I think it was more common than it is perceived.   
--
Diane Katz
gdbkatz@...


kshepard
 

Hmmmm...  Was his name Julius Jacobi?

Regards,

Kathleen Shepard

On Monday, January 10, 2022, 12:33:24 AM CST, Diane Katz. SURNAMES/TOWNS: Laske/Ladyzhin;,Steinberg Kiev; Grunberg Rheinhorn/Iasi; Milston/Slutzk; Bicz/Mogilev; Glas/Varniai; Moskowitz/Nagy-Saros Klein/Eperjes; Hefliech/Hungary; Marks/Machester/Suwalki; Shedrofski/Suwalki <gdbkatz@...> wrote:


One of my gggrandfathers was a petty criminal and philanderer.  He abandoned his wife and two babies.  She too indicated on the UK census records that she was a widow.  However after 2 trips to the US she located her ex and got her get.  Jewish women need a Jewish divorce to remarry in a religious ceremony.  

I was surprised to see so many divorces listed in JewishGen records.  I think it was more common than it is perceived.   
--
Diane Katz
gdbkatz@...