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Status of abandoned or divorced wife #usa
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I believe I have found my 74 year old 2xg grandfather and his 68 year old second wife living separately with different married daughters in NYC in the 1900 federal census. His status is married, while hers is widowed. I have read several articles on desertion and divorce within the immigrant population but nothing mentions the abandoned or divorced wife claiming to be a widow. Anyone know was the cultural rules or Halacha would have to say concerning this?
-- Sam Lorber researching LORBER/GOODMAN/RUDMAN/HAUFT
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Sally Bruckheimer <sallybruc@...>
Widowed was common, lots of women were widowed, and it was nobody's 'fault'.
Although divorce was not very uncommon in Eastern Europe, it was somebody's 'fault', and because Jewish law says only men could seek one, it was the woman's 'fault'. So men could be as rotten as they wanted, the woman could not divorce him, without his active participation. So she became a widow. I had a cousin who was a widow in NYC, but the story is that her husband went back to Russia. You could tell a census taker whatever you wanted. Sally Bruckheimer Princeton, NJ "Anyone know was the cultural rules or Halacha would have to say concerning this?"
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EdrieAnne Broughton
It was very common for a woman, divorced or separated to define herself as widowed whether she was Jewish or not. There was a social stigma to being without her husband if he was still living. It was not so for the husband.
EdrieAnne Broughton
Vacaville, California
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David Lewin
At 13:05 19/11/2021, Sam Lorber wrote:
I believe I have found my 74 year old 2xg Could you be referring to a woman who - in Jewish orthodox tradition - is NOT told by her husband three times "I divorce you" even though she has obtained a divorce decree from a Civil Court? Such women are known in Hebrew as Agunot ( singular Aguna ) and if observant, remain "tied" to their ex-husbands. In traditional Jewish Law they cannot remarry. See Agunah - Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Agunah David Lewin London
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Eleanor Lind
The three times I divorce you is the Muslim not Jewish method of divorce. In Jewish law the husband has to write, by a scribe, a ‘get’ a bill of divorce and give it to the wife who accepts it. There are many rules but it has to be given and accepted freely.
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Michele Lock
Since divorce was so rare in the early 1900s, it is possible that the census taker only asked the woman if she was single, married or widowed, so she chose from amongst those three.
-- Michele Lock Lak/Lok/Liak/Lock and Kalon/Kolon in Zagare/Joniskis/Gruzdziai, Lithuania Lak/Lok/Liak/Lock in Plunge/Telsiai in Lithuania Rabinowitz in Papile, Lithuania and Riga, Latvia Trisinsky/Trushinsky/Sturisky and Leybman in Dotnuva, Lithuania Olitsky in Alytus, Suwalki, Poland/Lithuania Gutman/Goodman in Czestochowa, Poland Lavine/Lev/Lew in Trenton, New Jersey and Lida/Vilna gub., Belarus
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Peter Cohen
It is also possible that the census information was provided by a neighbor or someone else who did not know her exact status. And it is not impossible that a lazy census worker might have invented her status out of thin air, if they had neglected to fill it in at the time they were on site.
-- Peter Cohen California
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Eric M. Bloch
My great-grandfather arrived in the U.S. with his family in 1905 from Lithuania, but after three or four years was unhappy here. He couldn't convince the family to return with him, so he abandoned the family and went back to Lithuania in 1908 or 1909. The 1910 Census still listed him with the family, but the 1920 Census listed his wife as a widow living with a son and his family. He was brought back to the U.S. in late 1920 by a different son, but he and his wife had a rocky relationship and remained separated, The 1930 Census listed his wife as "sep" (separated), but it was crossed out and "m1" (married) was indicated, even though he was living elsewhere. That year, she was enumerated living with a different son and his family. They finally divorced in 1932.
Eric M. Bloch Milwaukee, WI
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Elynn Boss
I don't believe that divorce was as rare as people like to think. One of hubby's gr-grandfather's was married 9 times and divorced 7 (the other two died) - and his divorce records were hilarious - he was mistreated by all his spouses that he divorced - supposedly. There were definitely more divorces by other of the gr-grands. In many of the cases, they were listed as 'widowed' in the census. Until I realized that, I was marking the other spouse deceased. Not only were they not deceased, but they married again, divorced again and married again.
-- Elynn Boss Frisco, Texas, United States bossgen_1@... Searching: Abrahams (New York); Gichtin/Gechtin/Gertin (Buffalo, New York and Canada); Dreishpoon (New York, Russia, France), Danovitch/Daynes (New York, Massachusetts, Poland/Russia) and associated branches.
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Eva Lawrence
A woman with a child but no husband would be very likely to style herself a widow, to avoid awkward questions and to keep up appearances.. Census entries were based on the information given by the head of the household, and checks on their consistency with other records were not made - think of the cost and time that would be involved. I've read personal accounts by men who visited household in area. the actual census takers.- available on the 'Lost Cousins' website - and even if the woman went into details about her failed marriage there would be no tick-box for 'abandoned by husband.' or 'not sure of my status'. When taking stock of any record, one must allow for the human factor and the limits of what the design of the record could indicate.. .
-- Eva Lawrence St Albans, UK.
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One of my gggrandfathers was a petty criminal and philanderer. He abandoned his wife and two babies. She too indicated on the UK census records that she was a widow. However after 2 trips to the US she located her ex and got her get. Jewish women need a Jewish divorce to remarry in a religious ceremony. I was surprised to see so many divorces listed in JewishGen records. I think it was more common than it is perceived.
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kshepard
Hmmmm... Was his name Julius Jacobi? Regards, Kathleen Shepard
On Monday, January 10, 2022, 12:33:24 AM CST, Diane Katz. SURNAMES/TOWNS: Laske/Ladyzhin;,Steinberg Kiev; Grunberg Rheinhorn/Iasi; Milston/Slutzk; Bicz/Mogilev; Glas/Varniai; Moskowitz/Nagy-Saros Klein/Eperjes; Hefliech/Hungary; Marks/Machester/Suwalki; Shedrofski/Suwalki <gdbkatz@...> wrote:
One of my gggrandfathers was a petty criminal and philanderer. He abandoned his wife and two babies. She too indicated on the UK census records that she was a widow. However after 2 trips to the US she located her ex and got her get. Jewish women need a Jewish divorce to remarry in a religious ceremony. I was surprised to see so many divorces listed in JewishGen records. I think it was more common than it is perceived.
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